Vacation is Over

I went to Wellspring again today for the Healing program.

We did some meditation.

I went into a forest.  A chipmunk lead me to a garden with a statue of Mother Mary and I saw a white convent or church behind her.

She had a special message for me… I am fine.  Go back to work.  The vacation is over.  Take care of yourself.


Sounds good to me!

No Sugar

I’m depressed.

A had a LONG conversation with the (LTD) oncology nurse yesterday and she also told me to stay away from sugar (something to do with insulin and cancer).  Especially in the afternoon.  No cake, or sweets, or Coke.  Too much sugar will make your insulin levels spike.

I feel like a caged rabbit – I’m only allowed to eat lettuce and seaweed.

Everyone told me it was going to be hell after chemo.

Now I know why.

Cancer Tips (from some Naturopaths)

I went to a course last Thursday night which was hosted by two young women – one, a naturopathic doctor, the other specializes in chinese medicine and acupuncture.  The topic was about complementary care.

So what did I learn at this lecture (feel free to skip reading this if you don’t really care).

BPA (found in plastic) causes cancer to grow.  Researchers found this because they put a breast cancer tumour in a plastic dish to test it, and couldn’t figure out why it kept growing and growing when they hadn’t done anything to it.  Then they discovered that the BPA in the plastic dish was causing the cancer to reproduce itself.

Their advice is never to drink water from a water bottle.

Don’t put any food in plastic (for lunch, or in the fridge for leftover food -especially hot soups, and acidic food like tomatoes).  I’m not sure what to pack my kids lunches in anymore.  I usually put stuff in Glad/Ziplock containers.  They suggested Tifflin (?) products but I don’t know what that is.

Never reheat anything in plastic (and I’ve seen some of you do this at school!)

Don’t use plastic kettles.

(Great, I just bought one I love, and now I have to go buy a stainless steel one).

Water also has chlorine in it, get a filter for your taps and shower.

Don’t swim in chlorine, but if you do, go to a sauna right afterwards.

(I don’t know if I’m allowed to go to a sauna now – lymph nodes might swell?  I’m going to have to look into that one)

No swimming sure puts a damper on things since I like taking my kids swimming in the summer.  As far as I know there is only one pool in Toronto with saltwater (it’s a jewish pool in downtown Toronto).

The naturopath said that when they have new patients, they always check their vitamin D level.  Cancer patients always are deficient.

You need 1000 mg per day and 3,000 mg in the winter because we don’t have enough sunlight in Canada.  Darker skinned people often need even more Vitamin D3 – sometimes up to 10,000 although that is a bit extreme).  A simple blood test will tell you your level.  They told us to get ours checked out.

Eat Seaweed.  Apparently it shrinks cancerous tumours and is one of the best ways to detox your body.  Seaweed attracts toxins that have accumulated in your body (from the environment and what we eat), and it comes out the other end.  I’m going to start looking for Seaweed Snacks which apparently you can find at Chinese stores (if they let me in – I promise not to buy anything in a bottle).  Japanese Miso soup has seaweed in it too.  Guess I will be eating sushi weekly if anybody wants to join me!

Omega 3, 9 are good vitamins to take as well as fish oil.

Ground flaxseed everyday is important to eat daily.

Eat 5 different colours of servings every day of fruits and vegetables.

Other important foods to eat include:

anything red (ie:  watermelon, tomatoes etc.)

nuts and seeds

garlic and onions

cabbage, brussell sprouts, broccoli, beans, kale, spinach, cauliflower, and other root vegetables.

chocolate (dark chocolate especially because it contains flavinoids)

citrus fruits

How do you cook kale?

I will need to learn new recipes, if anyone has any for root vegetables.  Bobo refuses to eat anything green and I don’t usually cook that stuff because I don’t want it to go to waste.  But I will be buying it now!  I don’t think I will become a vegan, but I need to eat more vegetarian dishes.

They said as long as we eat about 80% good stuff, we should be okay.

Plus organic food is better because it has less pesticides.

Do you know it costs about $25 for an organic marinated chicken from the market?  I’m going to be broke!  (actually I really like that mesquite chicken and have been buying it over the last couple of months).

Oh and the advice that is sure to kill me… No coffee.

Bloody hell.

I don’t think that is something I can do.

They suggested Swiss-Processed Organic Decaffeinated coffee because the other ones have chemicals in them.

I’m sorry but if it doesn’t taste good, I’m going with Tim Hortons (it’s not organic, but it is Swiss processed – they use water to get the caffeine out).

Besides, I just read an article in the paper saying that 3 cups of coffee a day is good for you to ward off Alzheimer’s .  Pick your disease.   I think I’d rather have cancer.

I am NOT Going to have a Blood Clot

Yesterday, my LTD oncology nurse, phoned to let me know she got all my cancer stats,  and she told me that she will be phoning me weekly to answer my questions and give me sound advice.

She asked me how I was doing.  Now that’s a loaded question.  WelI, besides the rash on my face and the watery eyes, my calf was killing me and how soon can I go and have a massage?  She told me to flex my foot towards my chin and then away from my chin.  “Thanks a lot,” I told her,  “that makes it FEEL WORSE.”  No, it’s not red and it’s not hot (two more questions she asked me), but she told me she would feel better if I go get it checked out because it could be a blood clot.  Maybe she would feel better, but I sure wouldn’t.   “No, I don’t want to go see another doctor or wait in a waiting room!”, I replied.  “Don’t you know I was back at Sick Kids on Sunday because my son shoved a pink pom pom up his nose!”  That’s what, 5 or 6 hospitals in 3 weeks or something like that… I’ve lost count.  I think I’d rather wait and have a heart attack.  “Go see a doctor”, she insisted.

“What will this visit entail?”, I asked.   “You just need to get an ultrasound on your leg because it might be deep and you can’t see it”, she told me.  “Phone your doctor.  Go NOW!”

So I did, begrudgingly.  I waited.  I saw the doctor.  She said it looked okay, but she was going to send me for an ultrasound anyway.  At 6:30 I went to the medical building next door, with Bobo and the kids, and had a technician analyze it.

Curious, I asked him if he found a blood clot, what would be the next step.  “Oh, you will get a needle every day for 10 days and go on blood thinners for many months”.

“I am not going to have a blood clot.  I am not going to have a blood clot.  I am not going to have a blood clot” was all I was thinking the entire time he was checking.  “You don’t have a blood clot,” he told me.  “Thank God,” I thought.  “I just got rid of that damn picc. line and I sure as hell don’t want 10 needles in my arm!”  Safe, for now.

P.S.  Dropped a can of corn on the floor while I was attempting to put it on the conveyor belt at the grocery store.  “Opps!”, I said.   “At least it wasn’t glass”.  Bobo just looked at me and said, “Get away from the rest of the groceries”.  Don’t know when my hand will start co-operating, but I hope it’s soon.

P.P.S.  After sharing my pom pom story, I found that people have great stories about what their brothers, sisters, and students have shoved up their noses (ie:  beads, pencils, googley eyes beans, emeralds).  I even found out that somewhere at Sick Kids, they have a special glass wall where they display all the stuff that they pulled out of little people’s noses.  I will go look for it the next time I’m at Sick Kids and see if they stuck my son’s pink pom pom in there.  I hear it’s quite a collection!

P.P. S. S.  Okay, so maybe I will only write once in a while… not every day…  only when something noteworthy comes up.  But I’m not making any promises!  You know I started feeling guilty when I didn’t feel like writing, but I made myself do it because  I owed it to you, my audience.    But NOT ANYMORE!   2 more days!

Electrifying Shivers

I am ridiculously tired today.  Went to bed at 8:30 p.m., brought the kids to daycare/school, and went back to bed.  It’s 12:00 noon and I am still tired.  I didn’t take benadryl or anything so I don’t know what my problem is.  I’m going back to bed.  Maybe my allergies are killing me.  I’ve been getting a chalk full of “shivers” coursing through my body too – except these ones feel different – a steady pulsation going through me veins.  Good-night everybody.

P.S.  Now that my chemo is officially over, I have decided to stop blogging in about 3 days.

This message is to all my friends who I regularly blog to.  You will have to start looking for humour in the comic section of your newspaper.  I quit.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Pancake Tuesday

Today I went to my school for breakfast which I loved.

Then I went to Frick’s school to flip pancakes for the morning.  They make pancakes for the whole school.   However, we were done at around 10:45 and they were being served  lunch at 12:00.  Who likes cold pancakes?  Not me.  Yuck  (the kids didn’t seem to mind though).

Then I came home and Punam visited me.  We were suppose to go shopping for windows, but decided not to, thank heavens because flipping those pancakes for 3 hours pretty much did me in.

I still am pink (hives) and my eyes have been watering again.  Allergies.  One of the moms from my school who is a cancer survivor, and an old elementary school friend, has a theory.  The chemo drugs reside in your fat cells and you never know when they are going to show themselves- even months and years later.  Lovely.  Lucky me.

I think she is right.


You Look Great….now what?

In the morning my left calf really started hurting.

And the afternoon I got quite a head-ache.

I should have known that something was up when I went to church yesterday night and everyone said how “healthy” and “pink” I looked.  That was after our venture to Sick Kids Hospital.

The last time people said I looked that good was when I forgot to wear sun-screen and burnt my face.

So when I got home. I raced to the mirror to see what was wrong with me.

Yup, that figures, a brilliant pink rash on my face.

Wonder if that came from the new deep-cleansing cream I used or the new moisturizer.

Well, look at the positive side, everyone thinks I look great!

That’s gotta count for something.


Pom Pom Emergency Visit

My newest emergency.  I swear this one is the best one yet.

Guess where I was today?  I’m sure by this time, you don’t even have to guess, you know.

Even the receptionist at Sick Kids recognized me.  How scary is that?

“You ‘re looking good today”, she said to me when I walked up to the window….Very ahhh..Pink, flushed actually”.  (I didn’t tell her I had a bit of wine at lunch at Nonna’s house – either my “pinkness” is that or I’m getting a rash on my face).  And no, I didn’t drive us to the hospital…Bobo did.

“How are you feeing?,” she asked.

“I’d be better if I wasn’t at 5 different hospitals in 2 1/2 weeks”, I told her.

“So what is wrong with Frack today?”, she asked.

“Oh, he shoved a pink pom-pom up his nose and it’s stuck in there. We couldn’t get it out”, I responded.

She laughed, shook her head, and said, “Frack!”, in an exacerbated voice.

How do you think I feel?…  I’m his mother.

I left to get my Grande Decaffeinated Lactose free Gingerbread latte with whip cream preparing myself for the 4 hour wait.

When I got back to the emergency room, I only saw Bobo there.  “Where’s Frack?”, I asked sipping my coffee.  “In there”, he said, pointing to a room.  Shortly thereafter I heard someone scream, “I GOT IT…. I GOT IT”.  “Alleluia”, I sighed, “If this isn’t the fastest visit yet”

Frack came running out of the room all smiles.

“See ya next week,” Bobo told all the nurses and the receptionist.

They all laughed as we waved bye-bye.

Frack is not getting a Winnie-The-Pooh from the gum ball machine today.


My Fault

Dinner party at my place… organized by Serena, the party event co-ordinator.

The attendees were about 12 students that graduated from my school in the year 2000.

They were a special class, and about 9 or 10 of them want to be teachers.

Serena said it is my fault.

Go figure.