Bad News

Didn’t sleep well.  The pain in my back was getting much worse and getting out of bed was difficult.  I went to school for a while (dress rehearsal), just to distract me from worrying.  I talked to one of the teachers (Fred) about my latest CT scan scheduled for 1:00.  Told him I was going to drive there myself, meet up with my husband, and drive home when it was over, but he kindly donated his wife, Gerty, to drive me, with Anna’s  blessing.  I’m glad she came with me because it makes waiting hours for results easier when you have a friend to talk to.

We were there almost 5 hours before we got the results from a really perky female doctor.  She was smiling at us as she ushered us into a room, leading me to think that maybe things weren’t as bad as I thought.  “Well,” she said, “You have a large dermoid cyst in your right side, but the real problem you need to address is… “Let me guess I interrupted her….Bone cancer”.  “That’s right”, she answered.  Gerty gasped.  I think in my heart I already knew… now it was confirmed.  “You need to see an oncologist”, she said.  The cancer is in your 11th vertebrae.  We left.

I think the doctor thought we were lesbians.  Gerty thought the same thing as she took me by the arm to leave the room.  “Sh**”, I thought, “What am I going to tell the kids and how are they going to survive without me?”.

My wonderful vegetarian lunch blew out of my butt about 1/2 hour after they put the radioactive dye in me.  I don’t react well to that stuff.  Bobo drove me home and we had to get back fast because it was Frick and Frack’s Christmas concert night.  I didn’t want to be late.  The ER doctor gave me some percocet drugs for the pain.  That did the trick, but made me very tired.  I almost fell asleep during the Christmas Concert.  Frack was so cute up there singing a firefly song, and Frick was given a microphone to sing in for two of the songs.  I was really proud of both of them and wondered how many Christmas Concerts I was going to miss because I would be dead soon.

Phoned the doctors office when I got home.  Lucky for me, her office is opened really late on Thursday.  She told me I would need a full body bone scan to see if there was any more cancer in my bones somewhere else.  Once I did that, they would stage me and decide a treatment plan (probably without chemo given my heart problems).  Radiation would be a better option for me and drugs to try to reverse and even eliminate the cancer in my back.  Some hope was given to me.  I thought cancer eats your bones and that I’d be stuck with this horrible pain the rest of my life.  Hopefully I will respond well to the treatment plan.

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