Never A Dull Moment, Even When I’m Not There

December 22 (Evening)  This next piece is quite a story.  I’m not sure if I got it all right, but this is what I got.

In my haste to get out of the house (when I discovered a was late for my appt), I dropped all my business cards with people/doctors phone numbers all over the kitchen floor.  A tiny detail which will become important later in this story.  I was trying frantically to contact Michelle to tell her I was going to the hospital right away and I had missed my appointment.  I didn’t want her waiting for me to pick her up at lunchtime.  I had found a paper with her name and 2 phone numbers and started calling.  It did say it was the school where she worked, but then it had all these voice prompts to leave a message.  I just about went nuts because it was ridiculously long (kind of like when you try calling Bell Canada).  I tried her last name, but it said “Irene”, not Michelle.  I tried to dial zero, but it didn’t direct me to a secretary.  I left a message somewhere, but I wasn’t sure she was going to get it.  I knew she said something about not having her cell with her but she did say she had her husband’s cell phone.  However I didn’t exactly have time to find it, so I left hastily.  Drove downtown in about 25 minutes.  A new record!

After speaking to my new oncologist, he took me over to the Cancer Hospital where his office was so that he could get my a nurse to do a sub-cuetaneous injection in my belly fat.  Then I was told to go to the insurance department to give them my policy numbers, etc, so that I would not have to pay the pharmacy $1,200 a month and then wait to get reimbursed.  Apparently I’m getting a 3 month supply ($3,600 is a lot to fork out in one sitting).  There was only one person in front of us, but it took the poor woman a long time to process the guys claims.

While I waited I phoned my older sister to tell her the good news and then I told her to phone our younger sister as I didn’t have too many quarters for the machine and I had to phone other people.  So she did.  Then I phoned my school.  I spoke with one of our secretaries for a while.  I asked her if I could speak to Anna (the principal), but apparently some kid had hurt themselves at the movie theatre (where most of the school was today) and she had to go pick him up.  Then I asked for Theresa Rose or Betty or Sam… but they weren’t back yet.  “Okay”, I said, “Who is there?”   “Iain”, she answered…”But he’s not too happy with me right now because I screwed up his pizza orders”.  “That’s okay”, I told her, “Let me speak to him”.  I figured once I told someone I was going to be okay, they would spread the news.  Then as I was being transferred, I heard a click.  “Darn it”, I thought, “I don’t have that many quarters!

Went back to the insurance claim department and waited a while.  Tried to call the school a couple of times later, but couldn’t get through… didn’t want to leave a message on the answering machine and waste more quarters.  Then it was my turn.  It took longer than I anticipated because our insurance company also has many voice prompts.  I felt sorry for the girl, but she was really excellent at her job and processed everything efficiently.  However, there was a LONG line up of about 5 people when we left.  So I went to phone the school again.  Our other secretary answered.  “Maria”, she said, “Where are you?”  “Do you realize that everyone is at your house looking for you from (Blank) School”  ?  Why would anyone from that school be looking for me”, I thought.  “Here is Theresa Rose’s cell number….phone her right away because there is going to be a search party for you and  I think the police have been called.”  “Oh *&#45@”,  I thought, “Michelle  didn’t get my message and someone from my children’s school must be at my house.”

Stole some quarters from my husband and I quickly phoned Theresa Rose.  “Where are you bud?” she answered.  “I’m at the hospital…I got a call that I was late and my appointment was at 9:00, not 1:00.  Told her my bone cancer was localized and things were good.  She said she had to quickly phone Michelle because she was looking for me.  Apparently, Michelle had called the principal at my children’s school when I didn’t show up and asked her to go to my house to find me.  Her and Mr. C. (the French Teacher) went over and knocked but I didn’t answer.  “Check and see if her car is there, it’s silver”, said Michelle.  There was a silver car in the street which they thought belonged to me.  Michelle told them to see if there was a car seat and a big mess (yes that really does describe my car) in the back.  There were 2 car seats, a booster seat and an infant seat.  Guess my neighbours either came out at that point or the principal went and asked them if that was my car.  They said no it wasn’t my car.  She peeked through my front door and saw all the papers on the ground and probably thought I had another stroke.  So she called 911 and was on the phone with them when Theresa Rose called Michelle, who called the principal to tell her NOT TO DO IT.  Don’t call 911.  I had been found.  And I was okay.  But I’m thinking it was too late, because  Michelle seems to think a report had to be filed anyway with the emergency response team.   They probably know the house well… they’ve been there plenty of enough times lately.  All this action at my house and I wasn’t even there.  I can just imagine a fireman breaking my door window to get into the house with those paramedics ready to zap me.

‘Cept I wouldn’t have been there.

“It’s okay”, I later told Michelle if they crushed my door.  I wouldn’t have minded paying the bill for that or the $45 ambulance.  I’m alive and that’s all that matters.

So sorry for the turmoil I put you through, dear principal from my children’s school.

I owe ya big, big, time!

Hopefully you will forgive me in time.

That’s what good catholics do!

P.S.  Guess I will need to have a chat with my neighbours soon too.


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