The Dragon Lady

It was not a good day.

I had some appointments downtown and needed to get my shot in the stomach.  I went to get my Zoladex stomach injection, but I didn’t realize I had to go to the pharmacist to pick it up first.

Then I had to go downstairs and got whopped with a $1 309.40 bill.  Apparently they hadn’t received confirmation that my insurance was going to pay for it, and the girl who would have been able to confirm it was away.  The girl at the pharmacy didn’t really want to give it to me because she was worried I couldn’t afford it.  I told her I didn’t really have a choice and that I would put it on visa.  Apparently, that’s a great way to collect monthly air miles points!  I submitted it to the insurance company the next day, but I still haven’t heard back from them.

Then, my day got a little bit worse. I didn’t get to see my oncologist.   I got that horrible woman who rolled her eyeballs at me the last time I was there asking questions.  I will now refer her as “The Dragon Lady”.

I guess I asked a stupid question which was…. When they take some of the bone tumour out, do they stage it?  She said, “What are you taking about?  As soon as you have a metastasis, you are stage 4 cancer.”  I really didn’t want to hear that because I always associated stage 4 cancer with “death is around the corner”

Then, nice lady (secretary) from the Radiation Guys office came to speak to me about a study about pain management and gave me a consent form.  I kind of freaked out when I read that the radiation therapy may cause me to loose my bladder and bowel function.  I do you mean I may never be able to pee or poo normally again?  I could read no more.  And I started to cry.  And damn it, I didn’t bring anyone with me to that appointment.

Apparently I think I am being used in a clinical/human guinea pig trial.  There are only 15 people in this study who meet the criteria of this new type of high dose radiation (one tumour only).  I know that my radiation doctor has not yet hit anyone’s spinal cord and I really don’t want to be the first.  He seems pretty confident that he can help me which is reassuring, but I am still worried nonetheless.  Headed for home.

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