Oh My Bleeding Brain, Not!

Had a spinal MRI on December 23rd.  So at my appointment on the 28th of December, I was told my cancer in my neck/spine seemed to be stable, but my brain was bleeding.

That made me think…hmmm had that test on December 23rd, if my brain was in fact bleeding, shouldn’t I be dead?  Something is wrong here.

I told my radiation dr that it was probably the hemangioma I had in my brain which was found when I had a stroke.  He felt “better” about that, but he still ordered me an emergency MRI which I had on Monday, 17 days later because he had not seen it on any of my previous scans.

The results?  My brain is not bleeding.  They just noticed my cavernous hemangioma on this prior scan and it hasn’t grown or changed since 2012 when I had my stroke.

Oh, and I don’t have any brain mets either.  Glad to hear that there isn’t anything in my brain but what was always in there in the first place.  However,  I really am not happy I had to have that MRI because the contrast dye they give you goes through the blood-brain barrier and I’m not sure how to get it out!  Who knows what chemicals I’ve got lurking in my bloody brain now?  EEEK!

Thank God they found nothing because I was really concerned they were going to take my drivers license away and I don’t think I could handle that.  I would go nuts.

I was already plotting what I was going to do if I got bad news.  I was going to start a Go Fund Me campaign, get on a plane, and go right back to Germany for a different cancer therapy… probably a month of Curcumin IV (I’m pretty sure that goes through the blood brain barrier).  But I’m stable and don’t have to think about it now.  I’m convinced your prayers helped and you know who you are!

I have decided on thing though.  I don’t ever want to do chemo (taxol) again because I know it will kill me and I don’t think radiation is the answer either as I’ve maxed out.

I am done with that.  The answer is elsewhere.  I can’t do treatment here.  It doesn’t work for me.  Grateful I am doing well.  Big relief.  Sigh.

I don’t see any doctors for 3 months now.  Thank heavens.  I can do without the stress.  No more scanxiety till April.  Hurray!

 

 

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The Waiting Game

Waiting for the results of my MRI on Monday.  Had to have an “Emergency” MRI because apparently my brain is bleeding.   He is 15 minutes late and there seems to be a lot of people here before me.

A Tale From My Irish Friend, Maria O’Kane

Several years ago I had the pleasure of meeting a very special friend named Maria O’Kane. She told me the funniest tale about a trip she made on the subway and had me, my kids, and her daughter in stitches crying in the car.  She was a great storyteller and her beautiful Irish accent always commanded attention by all.   She was fascinating.

Maria has since passed away from esophageal cancer but she will never be forgotten by her family, relatives and friends.  She was a force to be reckoned with.  The following excerpt is worth a repost, I’d say.

I Never Learn….by Irish Maria

May 21, 2011

Subject: I never learn

(an email sent from my Irish friend Maria)

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Here is one for you.  Real life no joke!  I am on the subway just a few days ago and this bald lady in a white cap with head bent rocking back and forth is sitting opposite me, so I put 2 and 2 together and get 7.  In my head I know what no one else understands she is a cancer patient, feeling nauseous and on her way to treatment probably.  She is with another slim Asian lady, her chemotherapy buddy, I suppose.   So, me being me, I stick my big beak in and I say “Excuse me, I am a recovering cancer patient too my dear.  It will get easier.  I had my last treatment two years ago and people don’t believe me when I say I am in recovery.”

To which she replies, very angrily, with almost a screech ” NOT cancer patient, no sick, I follow BUDDA this why I shave head, no need cancer treatment if believe in BUDDA.  Budda crush cancer LIKE PEANUT”, like sooooooohhhhhhhh as she brandishes her fist at me.  Holy shit the ground could have opened up and swallowed me.  I said “Very sorry, I should mind my own business, glad you are not sick”.  I could feel her eyes on my back as I walked away.   I kept thinking for a religious woman, you sure are f*****g angry!  Teach me to reach out and help anytime soon, I’d rather pick every one of my nose hairs out with a tweezers.

God has a bad sense of humour….. loves to humiliate me!

I’m off to bed just thought I’d share that!~  Irish Maria

Appointments Galore

 

Got a phone call from the hospital requesting my presence for a MRI on my brain on Monday at 12:30.  I won’t know the results until Wednesday when I see my radiation doctor.  Thinking what he said was bleeding in my head is just the hemangioma that has been there since I had the stroke/TIA in 2011.  Some blob in my brain that looks like an octopus with tenticles.  My doctor at the time told me if I couldn’t grab onto things with my hands or found myself walking weird/collapsing to come in to get examined.

Kind of funny I’ve had MRI’s every 3 months for 4 years and they just discovered my brain blob now!

Chest x-ray on Tuesday to check and make sure all my screws in my back are still holding me up!

Will be a lot happier after Wednesdays appointment.  Or maybe not????