Bad night

Thursday, August 17

I had a bad night. I took a new drug, hydromorphine. In the wee early morning I had a horrible headache in my right eye and my left eye was seeing circles. One of my molars with a silver amalgam was hurting too. The next morning I was a zombie and could barely breathe. My legs hurt, one felt numb/paralyzed and I could barely squeeze my right hand.

My sister Angie freaked. She quickly called the nurse to come over ASAP and had her husband drive her kids to his parents house. She told me I wasn’t allowed to die at her house. I’m afraid her kids would be scarred for life. Then she called Bobo, Frick and Frack to get their asses over here. They drove here like the Dickens. Eventually I started coming out of my stupor, but it was hard to breathe. Wasn’t sure what was happening, but something was different.

Eventually my nurse showed up at 11:00. She wasn’t that informative when I started asking questions. My tube was no longer draining. That kind of freaked me out because I had about 500 to 700 ml coming out everyday and now there was nothing. Not a drop. “What happened?”, I asked her. “I don’t know,” she answered. “I’m not a Dr. The drain is no longer working.” “So what am I suppose to do now? , I asked. “Go to the hospital and get the left side drained?” She shrugged. “I’d like you to listen to my lungs and tell me what you hear?” I asked. She said she didn’t hear anything in my right lung and it probably collapsed. “Great”, I thought. Now I only have one lung working. Wonder how long you can live with one lung?” What was strange is that I felt like I could breathe better than before.

Sometimes when you take extra measures to save yourself, like this drain, you get more complications. I have to be very careful I don’t get get pneumonia (if fluid goes into my lungs instead of my stomach). I’m having difficulty drinking because the muscles in my chest to work my lungs are very weak and so are the muscles around my esophagus. So liquid goes into my lung instead of my stomach and then I’m coughing a very long time to get it out which really and truly exhausts me. I wonder if I can go back to the hospital and get this now defunct drain out of me so I can go have a bath. It’s kind of like the picc line I had when I was doing chemo… you can’t get it wet. No baths. Showers wrapped in Saran Wrap. Wonder if getting that tube removed would increase the odds of an infection or should I keep it in just in case it starts filling up again.  Decisions.  Sigh.

The nurse told me she would order me a hydromorphine pump for the pain.  My side with the tube is uncomfortable but not bad.   My tailbone is killing me because I think some of the bones are fusing together and  I am in this bed all day.   I have a mandrill  butt.   It’s so sore and the skin feels like elephant wrinkles.  I’ve been putting on an assortment of creams.  Diaper cream is the best.  If I get a bed sore and it breaks open I’m in for a real treat.  Problem is I can’t sleep in my right side cause of the drain and I can’t breathe and my left side hurts because my hip hurts and  I fractured my pelvis.  So I’m stuck forever lying on my deteriorating tailbone.  CCAC did outfit me with a special pressurized mattresss for better distribution of weight which helps.    The pain is worse at night.   I don’t get much sleep and I hate using medications for pain.  There are studies that claim hydromorphine accelerates cancer and puts the lungs in respiratory distress.  That’s all I need.  No thanks.  I’ve been trying to get cannibus but haven’t been able to order anything as of yet.  At least marijuana is a natural plant that helps with pain and respiratory problems without the adverse side effects.

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