Fry the F**kers!

Looks like a have one or two new tumours giving me grief (T8-9).  My radiation doctor doesn’t really want to radiate it, saying I’ve had too much radiation.  He thinks I may qualify for a clinical trial on Photodynamic Therapy.  Small surgery, put some chemo/dye at the site, blow up the cancer cells with light/oxygen and cement the leftover hole in the bone. 

NutellaI was suppose to go have a CT Scan on Friday night at Sunnybrook to see if I fractured my spine during my Laser Quest escapade.  Still hurts.  I asked the secretary and the guy who phoned me about the scan to make sure that they also put in a requisition to check my liver/lungs while they were at it because I did not want to have more CT scans when I could do all three at once.  Needless to say,  I arrived at Sunnybrook only to be told that they were going to only check my spine.  I told the lady that I had an appointment to check all 3 areas at Toronto Western on August 5th and I’d rather keep that appointment instead.  So I left.  One CT scan is the equivalent to 500 x-rays.  Figured with this move I saved myself from an extra 1,000 x-rays and an additional dose of radiation dye.  Don’t think my radiation guy is going to be happy with me though when I see him on Wednesday.

In the meantime, I  have decided to try to blow up the tumour myself using Far Infra-Red Rays.  I bought this thing called a Biomat (by Richway).  It was not cheap.  I have been researching about it since I recently discovered it on a metastatic cancer website (Inspire).   Many lung cancer patients were getting good results after buying one.  Helped with pain management, got rid of the mucous in lungs after a couple of sessions and reduced/stabilized  tumour growth.  People felt better after using it.  Some hospitals in Japan are beginning this technology as well.

Biomat Pic.

Cancer patients typically have low body temperature (mine is 95 degrees celcius, when it should be 98).  I have been using a heating blanket/pad to combat feeling cold which is not good as it gives off electromagnetic waves (bad for the good cells in your body).  The biomat releases Far infrared rays (which cancer hates) and it’s good for your healthy cells.  It penetrates 6 inches deep into the body and also provides you with negative ions, improves your blood circulation and digestive system, and detoxes your body.  For every one degree you increase you core body temperature, it can make your immune system work more effectively.  For cancer patients it makes sense  that if you can improve your immune system, you have a better chance at living longer. 

Now that I’ve been using it for a couple of days, I am finding that I don’t feel like I’ve been shot in the back when I wake up….it’s more a feeling of being punched between the shoulder blades.  My digestive system has improved.  My body temperature is at 96.4, instead of 95, which still isn’t normal (98) but it’s on the right track.  I also have a lot more energy and feel better.  For some strange reason, my allergies seem better too.

Newest immunotherapy techniques involve giving patients a vaccine like polio (without the paralysis part of the disease) to stimulate the body to cause a fever.  If you can get a temperature of 104 for 20 minutes, you can kill cancer cells. 

Found a case of a breast cancer patient who got rid of the mets in her spine by going on the biomat over 2 months for 30 minutes each day at 158 degrees fahrenheit, the highest setting.

So my objective right now is to get my core body temperature to normal and at some point, to fry the fuckers.

And I’m going back to Germany in October.  Was hoping I’d be there for Octoberfest to try some beer and sausages, but apparently that event takes place in September.  Go figure.



Funny Story…..

The day I brought my Biomat home and put it on the bed, our cat Jumper decided it was hers and lay on it.  Every time I went near her to get her off, she smacked me with her claws, which she never has ever done before.  I had to call for reinforcements….Bobo!  “Get her off my biomat”, I implored.  Man, she was not happy when he finally managed to scoop her up and move her.  Decided this new thing on the bed was hers.  Odd, don’t you think?  

Lung X-Ray Results


I went to see my oncologist yesterday for my 2 shots in the stomach and my much anticipated x-ray of my lungs.

Last month when I ended up in the ER with chest pains/breathing problems, I had a CT scan.  The technician reported that there was “probable evidence” of metastatic breast cancer invading my lungs.  My oncologist said that within 3 weeks it would most likely spread and I would probably have to have my lungs drained of fluid.  My family doctor,  foreshadowing  my steady demise, told me she thought I should get back on chemo. (like my oncologist said I should).  My benefits team of doctors also warned me that there were mets in my lungs and told me to get back on Tamoxifen to see if that would make a difference.  Meanwhile, I was sitting tight thinking that they were all wackos (my husband concurred).  I mean, I know that they are concerned that I’m not doing conventional treatment, but boy they really jump on the cancer bandwagon when something looks different on a scan.  I mean, it can’t be something ordinary.  It has to be cancer!  How about allergies or some other explanation?  Nope.  Cancer.  Three against one.

IMG_0657IMG_0656I felt better after seeing my radiation oncologist last week.  My spirits were buoyed when he told me there was no evidence of mets progression in my spine. It now became three against two because he was impressed that I was doing so well and he wanted to know what I was doing in Germany.  I told my family doctor that it didn’t make sense that my spine was fine and all of the sudden there was metastasis growing in my lungs.  She said cancer can go anywhere it wants.  That’s fine and dandy lady, but isn’t it probable that it would be advancing in my spine too?  I decided my family doctor is really not too bright.  I mean, I didn’t go to medical school or anything like that, but really?  This whole thing seriously did not make any sense to me.  And besides, I’m still shaking my head at her last stupid comment when I had an ear infection (in February) and she told me I should get my face x-rayed because the cancer may have spread to some bone near my ear.  My oncologist practically had a heart attack suppressing a burst of laughter when I told him that one!  I could see tears in his eyes and even he told me that maybe it was time to a get a new family doctor because cancer doesn’t work that way.

IMG_0655 IMG_0654 IMG_0653So as I was waiting to see my oncologist for my x-ray results, I got an email from myUHN account (a new program which informs you when your test results are in).  Bonus!  Now I get to know what’s going on before he even comes into the room.  Scanned it quickly.

The cardiac pericardial silhouette is normal. There is a small nodular opacity in the right lower lung better visualized in the chest CT.There is mild linear fibrosis in the lung apices. (that’s scarring from radiation)

There is no other significant abnormality seen in the lungs.

There is no significant abnormality seen in the mediastinum.

There is no pleural effusion.

SMIRK!  So there is nothing really going on my lungs.  “Oh, this is going to be a good appointment,” I chuckled to myself.


Now, do you think he would admit that I was stable and that whatever I was doing in Germany was working for me?  Nope!  He just picked up the box of zolada (shot that stops my periods/estrogen which I’ve been on for years and I still had progression while on it) and said, “Oh this must be working for you and you must have a really slow growing cancer”.  “Yeah, sure,” I thought.  “I’ve been diagnosed with a very aggressive form of DCIS and it magically has disappeared.  I haven’t been on conventional medication for a good 1 1/2 years and I’m doing okay!   A big part of me wanted to tell him that the snake venom was doing the trick, but I kept my big mouth shut.  However, one day it’s going to come out!  And I can’t wait to see his face when I tell him that!  I will need some sort of video recording device to capture the moment.  And I want my husband there so we can laugh about it for many years to come.  


And then my onc. burst my little bubble some more by saying that this test wasn’t as good as the CT Scan (which shows more).  Hang on there bud.  Wasn’t I told that I suppose to be chock full of mets in 3 weeks and shouldn’t I be having my lung drained by now?  

IMG_0649“So what do you want to do now?” he asked me.  “Nothing”, I told him.  I’m having some issues with my heart which I need to address.  Right now, I’m staying off everything.  He told me the tamoxifen may have contributed to the fluid build up around my heart.  I really don’t think it was that…I’m quite certain it’s from the overdose of stuff that naturopathic dr gave me a week before the heart problems started.  I’m having an echo done on Monday and I’ll be sporting a 24 hour holter monitor on Monday.  I investigated everything I was taking (vitamins/supplements) and have come to the conclusion that everything I was on was interacting with each other.  So now I’m off pretty much everything until things settle down. 

IMG_0648I feel much better today and my new shipment of injections/drugs have arrived from Germany.  My oncologist nurse told me I lost too much weight (10 pounds due to gluten-free, sugar free, dairy free crappy diet) and there was not much stomach fat to stab me with the needles.  I told her that I like seeing my toes when I look down.  She shook her head at me and told me to be careful, cancer patients need all the nutrients they can get from food.  


So I went to an All You Can Eat Buffet after that appointment to celebrate!  Food, here I come!

I started juicing more at home too.  Still can’t walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing…will know what my heart’s ejection fraction is some time next week.  I know it’s not normal, but I hope it rebounds for the better soon… I’ve got places to go and people to see!


P.S.  Frick came in 4th place for Javelin throwing in the East Toronto Finals at Birchmount Stadium and will be going on to the City Finals on Tuesday.  That girl’s got a good throwing arm.


I met someone at the Naturopathic clinic who has breast cancer and was basically told she was incurable and was going to die.  Like me, she is not doing conventional treatment.  She went to Tijuana and The Issel’s Foundation ($70,000) and managed to shrink her tumour from about 8 cm to  0.7 cm.  However, her disease is now progressing.  Told her about Germany.  Guess where she is today?  Yup.  Flew to Baden-Baden and begins treatment Monday.  I really hope Dr. Sommer can help her as her oncologist here is the same as mine.

Wouldn’t that be something?  More arsenal for alternative treatment in Germany when two of us are sporting good results, don’t you think?.  Wonder if I can find and ship some more of his patients to Germany.


By the way, I think I should give you his address in case any of you are in a pickle and need alternative treatment.

Cell Vital Clinic (  (or)  Telephone:  011 49 7221 39 19 49

Dr. Daniel Sommer

Lange Strasse  72

Baden-Baden, Germany



Todays paintings were created by our grade 1 students (with the help of the grades 7/8’s because they were having trouble cutting out their fish with scissors) in the style of Eric Carle.  I have tremendous respect for grade 1 teachers because I think it’s one of the hardest grades to teach.


And The MRI Results Are IN!

Good news! Just got my MRI report. My many tumours in my spine are ALL STABLE!




The Snake Venom is WORKING!




Doesn’t taste too bad…kind of like an alcoholic drink! Just got to get my head around it now that I know what it is.  Crap I was shitting my pants all day today with worry.

So the plan now is, get off everything except what the German guy is going to send me (I’ve almost run out).  And make necessary adjustments next month when I get my lung x-rayed.  I’ve been on the snake venom for 3 months and nothing has increased in size in my bones since January, so this is very good news.  I can always go back on the tamoxifen later as I have a 3 month supply.

snake-RattleSnakeHopefully my heart will stabilize too without all the extra stuff I was taking which seems to have been interacting with one another.  I should have known better.  However, I’ve been through this road before with my heart, and know what I need to do (exercise/eat) myself back to health.


I Couldn’t Make This Up If I Tried

IMG_0275I’m having a weird week.  Hmmm where do I start?

IMG_0279Took something called Jut-U-SinR8 recommended by a the quack in Etobicoke and ended up in the ER with a convict, 5 security guards, and a room full of screaming kids and other sick people.  This is what happens when you live in Scarborough.  Decided not to stay.


IMG_0276IMG_0373Found a cute paramedic around the corner, showed him my heart monitor results and asked him if it was safe to get my husband to drive me to Mount Sinai (because the last time I came here with heart trouble they told me not to do that again)  or should I be enlisting in his ambulance services?  He said, “Oh, that is not good…. but I think your husband has enough time to get you there”.  Good enough for me, I thanked him and escaped.  Luckily, my racing heart startied to show signs of improvement and I told my husband, “What the heck, just take me home (where  left the kids alone).

IMG_0393IMG_0363The next day I went back to the quack and told him I didn’t have heart problems before I came here and now I was leaving with two.   All I got was 1/2 my money back.  Asshole.



IMG_0466IMG_0461Went to the Naturopathic Clinic today for my Vitamin C infusion and was rejected due to my recent heart problems.  Brought out my meds from Germany and all my supplements and guess what I learned today?

 I’m taking snake venom!

How do you like them apples?

IMG_0468IMG_0459I’m currently waiting for my results on my MRI from Monday.  That was the best appt ever.  No one was scheduled for any MRI’s because they were on stand by for Victoria Day Week-end Trauma patients.  There weren’t any, so I went right in and was finished in 45 minutes.  Bonus.


IMG_0456IMG_0474So if I don’t have any increases in existing bone tumours, I would like to think the snake venom is working and whatever they saw in my lungs isn’t anything to be concerned about.  If, however, I have some new spots on any of my bones, I am going to have to come up with a different game plan.  Hopefully the spots they zapped in January with radiation are dead/stable.


Snake venom doesn’t taste too bad, you know.  I mean, if you think about it, I’ve been given mustard gas (amongst other chemical warfare, I’m sure), thalidamide, and rat poison (and those are the ones what I know about).  It’s a wonder I’m not dead already.

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.


Hope you like the photos of the spring flowers in our garden.


Mother’s Day Art





I went to see a new naturopath in Etobicoke which turned out to be somewhat of a disaster.



He gave me some supplements which are currently bothering my heart.  Went back to him today to see if I could get my money back…he only gave me 50% of what I paid for.  What I got was a trip to the ER (heart failure symptoms again, I’m afraid…just when I was doing so well in that department and the cardiologist told me I didn’t need to come to see him).  Oh well, c’est la vie.  There goes another couple of hundred dollars.  He made me feel that if I walked out of that place without his treatment, I was doomed.  Not happy.


(if you want instructions of the art project above, you can go on Pinterest, Maria Pisani, Art for Young Kids, Bubble Paint Hydrangeas).

When I went to see my oncologist, he asked me if I was going to go on any kind of treatment because of whatever they seem to think they have found in my lungs.  I told him that my benefits package included an oncology nurse and doctors and they seemed to think I should go back on tamoxifen (the one that gave me a TIA/stroke).  He told me the chances of that helping at all were slim (10%) as we had exhausted all the other estrogen drugs he gave me.  I told him, “Oh well.  I’m weird.  Maybe I’ll be in that 10% group where it does me some good and it stabilizes my cancer.  You never know”.  Guess who really and truly needs to buy a cell phone now?  My dr. also said that in the next 3-4 weeks, I may experience fluid in my lungs which may need to be drained.  Thankfully, that hasn’t happened.  I think I’m good.  I’m going to have a chest x-ray in another month to see what’s happening in my lungs.

IMG_0343 IMG_0341 IMG_0342 IMG_0340 IMG_0338 IMG_0337 IMG_0335 IMG_0334 IMG_0332

Sending you some of the projects I worked on for Mother’s Day.


Grade 5


IMG_0351IMG_0350We went out for dinner with my family (hubby, sisters, mom & dad, nephews, brother-in-law etc.) on Saturday.

And then on Sunday, we took a leisurely drive to Richter’s Herbs to buy some organic plants, herbs and vegetables for the garden while my housekeeper cleaned the house.  Stopped by a quaint little bakery and had lunch and then ice cream at Musselman’s Lake.

IMG_0362 IMG_0361 IMG_0360




Overall, quite a lovely day.

IMG_0357 IMG_0349 IMG_0348





Grade 4

By the way, guess who’s volleyball team won the championships?  That’s right.  Undefeated.  Here’s our pennant.  I’d post a pic. of our team, but I don’t want to infringe on anyones media rights!


My Newest Paintings and A Brush With Spiderman

Thursday, March 15

Yellow BunnyYesterday I drank so much water (16 glasses), my urine was no longer yellow. My tongue was white and I have developed a SERIOUS shortage of saliva. I’m hoping the cause is from the strong antibiotic I was on and still not because of my radiation treatment. My ear has also started to hurt again. My family Dr. is on vacation and her secretary told me I may need to go back on antibiotics.


Purple BunnyMy former principal hooked me up to a new friend, whom I will name Katie. Katie, like me, is also a mets. breast cancer patient and does a lot of researching. However, her mets are in her liver which she has kept stable until recently for about 2 years by naturopathic means. She is a fountain of knowledge and I am so blessed to have this new connection. I could talk to her on the phone for hours. We are able to bounce ideas with each other and learn from one another. I never met anyone else like this. And I owe her big time….


google when sickI have been getting a bit jittery over the last 2 – 3 weeks because my medications from Germany have essentially run out and I’m waiting for more. I got a letter from the German Dr. saying my metabolism has improved, my kidneys are light/insufficient (?), there is calcium in the urine, and I have an inflamed intestine. My prescriptions were sent to the pharmacy, but I haven’t received a call for my VISA number yet for them to ship it here. I hope it doesn’t get caught up for a month in customs again. Meanwhile, I’m thinking my immune system is still run down because of the radiation treatment. What if I can’t get rid of this ear problem?

HousesappreciationKatie suggested that I go get Vitamin C I.V., which I heard of, but never tried. So off I went to the Robert Shadd Naturopathic Clinic on Leslie St./Sheppard and gave it a shot yesterday.  Last night I started having a headache when I went to bed and prayed to Brother Andre, like one of my good friends told me to do.  Some time during the night I had one hell of a fever. “Thank heavens, my immune system is back to work”, I thought as I drifted off back to sleep.

Cherry BlossomsStill had a headache this morning when I work up, but I felt different. I felt cured of whatever ailed me. The heavy sinus feeling in my head was gone. I’m still thirsty, but not nearly as bad a yesterday. That’s a good sign. I have to go back every week of Vit. C for 5 more weeks. Hopefully it will blow up any cancer cells running amuck in my system and improve my immune system.

mini cherry blossum

Spent the morning painting and reminiscing about my friends Michelle Baskie (who passed away of pancreatic cancer) and Maria O’Kane (esophageal cancer). I miss them both so much and think of them often.


tenantLast night I looked for information about another person who died on the week-end of metastatic breast cancer. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in her bones at the same time as me  (fall of 2012). Her name was Lisa Bonchek Adams. The similarities between the two of us are eery. Most of the meds we took were the same and she had the same tumour/gene markers (Pi3K). We both had problems with our heart because of chemotherapy and I think I started reading about her because we were both featured in the same Toronto Star article about 2 years ago. I didn’t really read her blog regularly as it had a way of upsetting me and made me feel like I was doomed.  I saw on the news the other day that Lisa passed away last week-end. Her cancer spread to her bones, liver, lungs, and finally, her brain.   I think, I know actually, that I would have been in the same boat had I not gone to Germany for treatment there, no matter what my oncologist thinks and says about it (quackery).

cceb279a36216f145ab2ab856f28e9f5Gotta go to get my shots tomorrow and defend my position as to why I am doing “Nothing” about my cancer. I’m going to tell him that Lisa is dead and I’m not.  I think I made the right choice.  Besides, what drugs is he on thinking that I’ll go back on the feet burning drug Xeloda?  Katie told me she had a heart attack on that drug.  I’ve had 3 separate heart issues because of chemotherapy and he wants me on that one?  Other options being offered are intravenous, loose your hair ones.  I’m going to try everything else I can think of first.

Purple LadyI have gone to a few of “Art For Cancer Foundation” workshops over the last couple of weeks and tried some new projects. I like learning new things, even if they are a bit out of my element like this purple lady I painted. That’s also where I learned to paint the “Cherry Blossom” ones and the surrealistic homes above. I like going there because I learn new things and I have a finished piece of artwork by the time I leave. I also painted some Easter Bunnies (when I was sick at home) which I found on pinterest so I could practice how to do them before I taught them to a grade 2 class after March Break. I love pinterest and found lots of things I want to try out, when I have time. Next week I’m planning to work on my blog and write about my escapades in Germany at Christmas time.  That was quite an adventure.  One last painting to show you….

Purple Winter Sky


images-2Friday, March 13

You won’t believe what happened to me after I visited my friend Wanetta who works at CAMH.  I was returning to my car.  The light was green, but I only had 8 seconds to get across the street.  Should I do it?  “Yeah,” I though, “I’ll make it, but I’d better RUN.”  So I did.  I’m running across the street and almost made it in 6 seconds when, low and behold a giant man in a Spiderman costume comes
barreling down the street on a skateboard.  “Holy Shit”, I thought, “I’m going to get hit by Spiderman”.  I stopped dead in the 3rd lane.  “WHOA, Missy”, he calls to images-3me in a very LOUD, Authoritative Voice.  You should NEVER JAY WALK!  “What?  What?  What are you talking about?  I HAVE A GREEN LIGHT, buddy!”, I yelled back.  “Oh…”, he answered. Well you never know, I may not be able to use my special powers to save you?”  WTF?  Special Powers?  Is this really happening?  I made safely to the sidewalk, glancing at Spidy beside me.  He had the whole get up on, mask, suit, and skateboard.  “How the hell can you see?”,  I’m thinking…..” You are going to have to save those special powers for yourself riding on the street on that thing in that get up!”

As I made it to my car I quickly pulled out my ipad.  I gotta get a pic. of this guy and put it on my blog.  But unfortunately, Spiderman disappeared as quickly as he appeared.  My Hero….not.unnamed

I Wanna Be A Shit-Disturber

expert adviceToday, I have decided that I no longer want to play nice.  I am no longer going to be a goody-two-shoes (which is what someone called me yesterday) because I feel like I’m  being taking advantage of.  This is a new thing for me…standing up for myself instead of being disgruntled and keeping anger inside.

I think I’m liking the “New Me”.

So today, when I went to Walmart and was being held hostage inside the store (this is what happens to customers who are stuck inside the store waiting desperately for the stupid store manager to come open the doors at 10:00 to let you into the mall).  I decided to do something about it.  I didn’t want to wait.

Three times I heard an announcement requesting the manager to open the large, glass sliding doors.  I saw a smaller door with a lock on it and thought, “Gee whiz, I can make my escape now if I just go over there and click it open”.  Dare I do it?  There were about 10 people waiting inside the store and about 7 people waiting outside and I REALLY wanted OUT.  So I walked up to the door, clicked it, turned around to all the people behind me and said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m getting out of here”.   I overhead someone saying, “I’m not staying here either”. Suddenly there was a stampede of people running through the door right behind me.

Take that WALMART.

My bad!  I like it.

I went to Toys R Us, got my gift card for Frack’s birthday party on Sunday, and made my way back through Walmart to get back to my car.  At this point I was wondering if I would be recognized by the camaras and be banned for life upon entering any Walmart store for opening their door without being an employee there.  Too bad, I thought.  Anyone stops me, I’ll give them an earful about wasting a terminally ill person’s time.

Didn’t get caught.  I was very proud of myself.  And I’m sure the other Walmart hostages were glad to get about their business too.

Then when I got home, I decided to phone the guy sent from Rona to fix up my leaky bathroom.  Told him he needed to come back to the house and do some touch ups on the work he did.  Decided to wait to tell him he was going to have to wash out the bathtub too before I sign the release form.  It’s got a white film around the tub (from the grout?).  If I have to call my house-keeper to come to the house and clean it up, it’s going to cost him 1 hour of her pay because I’m not going to do it and bust my back.  And my kids and husband shouldn’t have to clean up his mess either.  So there.

I must be on a roll.  Yesterday I fired my heart doctor.Back Together

I complained to the head of the cardiology unit (who used to be my heart doctor before they promoted him to the position of top dog).  On Thursday night, while scouring the internet for a new heart doctor, I discovered my old heart doctor became head cheese because his boss was involved in that “Orange” helicopter money scandal thing. Nice.  Decided I was going to give him an earful about how my new heart doctor is no where to be found when you need him.  Cathy told me to be nice or I’d never have a heart doctor again.

I started by telling him that he needed to be my doctor again because the new one I got was never around.  Whenever you call, you have to wait a minimum of 5 days for him to respond….and by that time, I might be dead.  Once he called me back 2 or 3 weeks later and I forgot why I called him.  So now, whenever I have a heart problem, I get my oncology nurse to phone him; but she doesn’t like phoning him either for the same reason.  I think he goes to a lot of conferences or something to learn more about people like me with heart problems due to chemotherapy.

In April my pharmacist thought it was weird that I was put on 2 heart medications and he phoned my heart doctor to question the logic of that prescription (this took several days).  When he finally got a response, the pharmacist couldn’t fill out the prescription because it didn’t have my name on it.  And the big kicker, after more phone calls and faxes, Shoppers Drug Mart finally got the prescription with my name on it but they couldn’t fill it out because the doctor didn’t sign it.  I think that whole arduous ordeal took about 4-5 weeks.

By June, I had my prescription and when I took both drugs, I had

1.  irregular heartbeats

2.  a strange cough

3.  insomnia

4.  a strange metallic taste in my mouth

5.  a loss of appetite

6.  a trip to the local E.R.  because I had severe chest pains and I thought I was having a heart attack.

And whilst sitting in the E.R., the doctor told me NEVER, EVER  to come back to this hospital with a heart problem because they didn’t know what to do with me and THEY COULDN’T FIND MY DOCTOR TO ASK HIM.  “Go downtown next time”

And then, after I get the boot, I found out that I had an appointment two weeks later with a replacement heart doctor because mine was gone until OCTOBER.

I could be dead by then.

So, I took matters into my own hands and stopped both the meds even though it said, “Don’t stop taking this medications without telling your doctor”.  Well, I can’t find my doctor…he’s in Boston.  I told his replacement, but he was rather useless because he didn’t want to advise me about anything without the other guys permission.

Needless to say, my old doctor is willing to take me back.  I’m happy.


Stupid pplOne more thing….

Someone left a note on my windshield last week informing me that I was NOT HANDICAPPED and SHOULD PAY FOR PARKING.  Getting a bit tired of people keying my car too.   So now I am leaving my own note in my car beside my handicapped parking permit.

This car belongs to ayoung 


with METAL RODS in her BACK due to a FRACTURED SPINE and CANCEROUS TUMOURS on eight bones in her vertebrae.  Try driving backwards in this condition when you can’t twist your back. Even getting out of a car hurts. Carrying groceries? That will give me pain for at least 3 days if I try. Because of numerous rounds of CHEMOTHERAPY and RADIATION treatments, I also have suffered from HEART FAILURE and have even had a TIA / STROKE because of medication I’ve been on. You don’t have to be in a wheelchair or limping to be considered handicapped. So stop being angry because I’ve got a Handicapped Parking Permit and Thank God you don’t need one. I put on a brave face, but truthfully, I’m in pain every day of my life and I’d trade spots with you any day.

Day 1 Germany…entitled: How Could I Be So Stupid?

Excerpts from my diary on my trip to Germany (Jan. 31-Feb. 1, 2014)

Just wanted to let you know that I made it to Germany. The flight was great! Loved “Lufthansa Airlines” because they had fabulous choices of movies, music and other entertainment, and their blankets and drinks were FREE! The Air Canada flight we didn’t opt for that was suppose to leave an hour before us was delayed so we definitely made the right booking choice.

My feet got sooooo hot in my boots while in flight that I had to take them off because they were sweating like crazy (chemo side effect). Elected to take the “Wheel Chair Assistance” when I got off the plane. It was great! Must do that again. Got to go on one of those electric golf carts and I even got a special elevator ride/private bus after departing from the aircraft. It took us right to the baggage stop. Lovely escort service too!

IMG_0546Found the train station easily enough; it was across the street….bought our tickets and then did not get off the train at the right time. That’s right folks…had our own extra special tour of Germany. Went towards somewhere that started with an N which my husband said got leveled during the war. We would have failed as competitors for the Amazing Race…but it would have been great drama if we had this all on film as it unfolded.

Our conversation went kind of like this:

Me: We got to get off here

Bobo: No we don’t. The guy said we just have to get off at the other station (which we did)…one changeover not two.

Me: Now I don’t speak German or anything, but I’m pretty sure this ticket says to get off here.

Bobo: I don’t think so.

Me: We’re running out of time..this train will only stay here for a short time.

Bobo: I don’t think we have to get off

Me: I’ll stay with the luggage and you go ask someone. That was my first mistake. Never ask a guy to ask for directions. I know that. I should know that…but I wanted to see if he would do it. There are all kinds of people all around us whom he could have asked before the doors closed, but no…he has to run around the train to “Find the conductor”. Case closed. Did we make it out of there where I thought we had to get off? Absolutely not! We remained on the train.

Eventually the train conductor shows up and asks us for our tickets. Then he scowled at us for being stupid because, guess what? We did not get off the train when we were suppose to. In fact, we got the same scowl/hahhh sound from the other three train personnel we had asked for directions at the change over to return to the station we were suppose to get off at). It’s a very interesting scowl that sounds like they are going to spit on you. Hahhh!!, with the head shaking back and forth. No joke. It’s pretty scary. I felt like a kid being scolded. Three times, no less.

We got off and had to wait about half an hour for the next train to Baden-Baden. I decided to go to a cafe and get a tea because I was cold. When I reached into my purse to pay for my drink …I was horrified to discover that I DIDN’T HAVE ANY MONEY. OMG don’t tell me I forgot all my money and my bank cheque to pay for my treatment at home. Oh yes I did.

All I can say is thank heavens my older sister gave me some euros before I left ’cause that’s how I paid for my tea and my taxi to the Holiday Inn from the train station.

This whole scenario lead me to think of the time a couple of years ago when I got an email from a colleague at work named Dave who claimed he was in Spain and had no money and to wire him some. I didn’t fall for it. I laughed and thought, “How can someone be so stupid to go to a foreign country and not have Any Money with them?….well, that would be me.

I swear my chemo treatments have gone to my head and have killed way more brain cells than I could have imagined possible. But looking on the bright side, I did manage to call my credit card companies in advance to tell them I would be in Germany…so all I can say right now is that those cards had better work or I’m going to be out in the street begging for money soon.

IMG_0609I will send you a very special picture I took today which pretty much sums up my predicament… By the way, I bought a cell phone with my credit card so I could call my sister to wire me some more money. I haven’t quite figured out how we are going to do this, but I am hopeful.

I am sure that I will laugh about this one day. I just would feel a whole lot better if I remembered the money/cheque…. I also forgot to bring my hair brush…but that is easily replaceable when you have money!  Please note…you probably won’t get any more messages from me hereafter because I won’t have wi-fi in the apartments where I’m staying starting tomorrow night. Sorry for the cliff hanger. I should call this post “Broke in Germany.”


My Jamaican Good Samaritans

I had an interesting day.

I went to see my friend Punam and the little red car battery light (which was lighting on and off for a couple of weeks every time I went over a bump) glowed an angry red. Made it to her house, but was a bit worried it may not start when I went home. Phoned my mechanic who said I needed to get the car in soon because the alternator wasn’t working properly and the battery was draining. Told him I was coming soon. Went for lunch. Started the car. Everything was good.

Everything was good until I got on Highway 401 at Bayview…that’s when the car radio went dead. “Oh crap”, I thought…Now what am I going to do? Every single light on my dashboard was aglow and I couldn’t even listen to a good tune on the radio!  The car was still was running as I was coasting down the highway on the hill. I looked into the horizon and realized that there was no where really safe to stop from Leslie to Victoria Park. I REALLY wanted to get all the way to Kennedy Road because I figured at least I would be really close to Roadsport Honda. However, I was kind of thinking the steering wheel was getting a bit tight and I wouldn’t make it. “Play it safe”, I thought. “Get off the highway.” I put on the emergency flashers and made my way on the off-ramp at Leslie, only to find two other stranded motorists in a white van at the side of the road with their hood up. Remembering my experience in New Brunswick with the cop/gun at the side of the road, I figured this was as good a spot as ever (I promise I will blog that one soon…it’s a hilarious story).  I thought, “Maybe on of the guys at the side of the road has a cell phone. I sure don’t. Yes Yes, I know, I know, I know.”

So I get out of my car as other cars are dashing by while the two Jamaican guys are looking at me wondering what the heck I was doing. “My car just died”, I told one guy. “Do you happen to have a phone so I can phone CAA?” “Sure”, he said, “But the battery on my phone is dying”. So I phoned CAA TWICE only to get some pre-recorded message. “Great”, I thought, “How am I suppose to relay the message that I’m stuck her waiting for a tow truck when no one is at the other end picking up the phone; meanwhile this guy’s phone is dying as we speak. Can’t exactly leave a message and say, “Hey call me back”.  There is no phone! I looked around. There is nothing but grass around me. No Bell phone. No gas station.  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing. I’m sure not getting out of here in a hurry and I don’t think I’m going to be home when the kids get there either.

A minute later, the Jamaican guy’s tow truck arrived. “Do ya think you could call another one for me” I questioned the driver. “You need a tow?” he answered. “Oh yeah, do I ever!” I answered, “This thing is not going anywhere”. “I’ll do it”, he said. “Whhaaat?” “No I can’t do that. I can’t steal this other man’s tow truck,” I told him.” “Oh don’t worry about him”, he said. “That’s my friend”. I went and spoke to the friend because I felt really bad about leaving him at the side of the road longer, and he said “Don’t be silly, Ladies first”. He barely had any teeth. God Bless that skinny Jamaican toothless man.

I had to quickly get my car to the mechanic or I was really going to be toast this long week-end with no car. Once I got to my mechanic, I phoned CAA again. I told them I tried phoning them but no one answered and I was stuck in a precarious spot off the side of the highway. She told me to send my $140 receipt to their reimbursement office with a letter and they would pay me back.  That made me feel a whole lot better.  Got my car “fixed”…well sort of.  I got a knock off version of an alternator  (refurbished) and the red light was still blinking on and off on the way home.  Figured the radio was still on so I was good.  Maybe just a glitch.  Yeah, right.  Oh well, I have 3 more free tows left for this year because I got the PLUS membership.  Hopefully my car will behave itself until I go back next week to have it checked out.  I know it’s time to buy a new car, but I really don’t want to pay for one right now!


All is good. Well, sort of. I was just checking my emails at the mechanics and my LTD Oncology nurse emailed me back when I told her about my heart problem (she gives me the heads up as to what my oncologist will say to me before my appointments).  Sounds like they may be looking at putting me on an “old” chemo intravenous drug from Milan called Bonadonna CMF from the 1970’s. But I’m not suppose to worry because not all my hair is going to fall out….just thinned. Really?  Really?  I don’t think so.  The thought of being hooked up to an I.V. for more chemo with a pic line (and purple hives) and a cow glove to shower with is not quite something I’m prepared to do right now.  Noooooo thank you!!!!!

Will deal with that email later….I think my car is ready!

And a special thank you to my tow truck driver Roy (from Bill and Sons Towing) and his good samaritan friends…you really made my day!