Trouble Brewing


Looks like I’m in trouble again.

I had my spinal MRI on Monday at Sunnybrook. I got home at 3:00 in the morning, even though my funny-cat-tucked-bedappointment was at 10:30.  Three trauma patients that night.  Not sure why the Odette Centre doesn’t have it’s own MRI for cancer patients like Princess Margaret. It’s not like they are going to have a shortage of cancer patients needing MRI’s. At PMH, my appts were at 7:00 a.m. and I was done by 7:45. I never got bumped. I guess they figure terminally ill people have nothing better to do at 2:00 in the morning, but sit in a waiting room for scans.  Get home, and guess who’s in my bed?



My appointment with my radiation guy is on Monday at 9:30. However, my oncology nurse (from my benefits) got the report yesterday and sent it to me.  It’s not looking too good.



There is still evidence of metastatic disease in C2 (neck where they zapped it), T3, a new one in T5 and a slight enlargement in T6, the sacrum and the iliac wings. C3, T1, T2, T8-9, T11-L5 are stable. The most pressing problem right now is C2 which is high in the neck. She said it could be a radiation flare that has made it look bigger, but she felt that was not the case because of the way the report was written specifying that there was metastatic disease evident.

ee0a3964360244b6b25acc3426da8c64That means they are going to have to radiate it again; but that may not be possible because of the radiation dosage he has already given me. Bones tend to get soft and mushy with a lot of radiation and may break or collapse.   So if he is going to radiate my again, that means I may have to have surgery on my spine once again to stabilize it first. Two more titanium metal rods stretching from C1-C4 because C3 got zapped in January and was not strong enough to support the rod. She told me to get in touch with my surgeon to see if it was even possible.

tumblr_nd16cr47Tj1rlnitko1_500So, of course, my brain is going fast forward and I asked her, “So if it’s not possible what does that mean?” They are going to let it keep growing until it compresses on my spinal cord and I become a quadriplegic? She didn’t answer. I know I’m right because I know someone that this happened to. She had to sell her home in the Beaches to get a condo for the inevitable wheelchair she was going to be in.


I went to bed thinking about how I was going to have to learn how to paint with my mouth.

If my oncology nurse is wrong, I’ll be doing this after my appointment on Monday.


Organs are Clear

I went to see my oncologist today and he was actually there. I said, “Who is this stranger in the room?” Might it be my oncologist?”  “Where’s my organic muffins?”, he piped in. “I’m not making them any more, I told him, “Ever since I went to see my family doctor and she told me I was fat. Apparently I gained 10 pounds since the last time I saw her.” “Did you tell her that you were on chemo? he answered. “Yes,” and then she said something like…”Will it’s not going to matter soon anyway”. (I think she meant I am going to become a skeleton down the road when this disease progresses). I told him I was not too happy coming out of there and have not made a muffin since. He told me that that does not happen to all breast cancer patients. I don’t think he was happy either and may write a note to her to tell her to lay off about my weight so I can start making muffins again. He said that someone bought Tim Horton donuts today and they were on a counter in the other room and he didn’t need that. I told him my muffins were healthier than the donuts someone brought in. What I really should have told him was that if my condition gets worse and I am in a lot of pain, I’ll be making some special magic brownies instead, and he will be welcome to having some of those too! In fact, I could make some for the whole oncology department.  Ha ha!

I was suppose to have a mammogram today (which was ordered by my surgeon), but then I was told that since I already had a CT Scan last week, it was not necessary. He said, “I personally have never had a breast mammogram, but I heard it’s rather painful and they squish it”. “That’s right”, I told him. “It’s not fun. I never wanted to go to that appointment today anyway so I will just go over the Mount Sinai and cancel it after I get my shot in the stomach.”

“All is good”, he told me. “Your organs are clear.” That’s good”, I told him, “Because I thought I had a tumour in my neck and was expecting to be radiated today.” I proceeded to tell him my sordid tale. I think I entertain them all there.  The nut bar who brings in the muffins is here today…wonder what she is going to tell us today?


My oncologist has a new woman associate (I think the mexican guy went back home). She seems very nice too. I haven’t got a name for her yet…just give me time. I go back in 4 weeks for my Xgeva shot and I see her because my oncologist is going to Ottawa for something.


My kids seems to be adjusting to their new school pretty well. Frack has been rather perplexed in the morning because he is not used to choosing his own clothes. “Can you find me something to wear, mommy?” he asked me today. He is so used to wearing that costume over there (I call it their Tim Horton’s uniform) that he is dumbfounded that he doesn’t have to do this anymore. And Frick… well she is over the moon about being able to wear real clothes and has been anticipating a shopping spree to suit her up-coming style (shopping is the carrot I dangled over her nose to try to convince her to leave her old school, what can I say?).

Frick misses her friends, but seems to have found some nice kids to hang around with. She was a bit concerned that everyone would be smarter than her. Fortunately, they were learning about conversion in math and she was able to help some of her group members because she knew how to do it.  I think that made her feel better.

What I found most amusing yesterday was that Frack came home with a book in his hands and he told me and Frick to BE QUIET as we drove home because he had to read. I wondered who that kid was sitting in the back seat. Another good thing was that he actually ate some of his lunch too. Things are looking good.

A good friend from my support group last night told me to go buy a lottery ticket, which I did…so next week if I’m blogging you from some sunny beach destination, you’ll know that I won. Oh, and Mouzos told me she’s coming too.  My husband, however, won’t be joining us…because he will be at the happiest place on earth. Where might that be, you ask? Disneyland, of course! My husband never grew up!